How I Got Fired From My Job In North Carolina

 This is a tragic /tough memory for me, and I'm really looking for some closure.

  I got fired from my job in North Carolina(2010). I just want your opinion. Was this my fault, or do you think that this guy was gay???                                         

  

--pt1

        His name is Matt.

  I started this job straight out of college building handguns. I had been working there for 2 or 3 months before Matt started there . I trained him on his job, and we started to be good friends ,and it grew into a pretty tight bond. We worked 2nd shift, and on 2nd shift, there were about 4 other guys, and Mike was the manager over all of us. That makes about 7 of us overall.  Me and Matt's relationship was a lot tighter, but  We were all friends ,everybody liked each other we're all like a family. We used to go out to eat together before our shift started at least once a week. As far as work go's, we used to have fun and cut up all night. Obviously, we got work done. But we just used to have a good time. As time went on, the shift grew, and people just came 1 by 1. 2 by 2, and it grew to about 15 guys. 

                    Brad     

 Brad was one of the guys that came with time. when I 1st met  brad, it was awkward between us.

 me & him actually got to be pretty cool as time went on me and Brad grew to be pretty tight. Somebody brought it to my attention in a private conversation. That Matt doesn't like brad . I stepped back and started taking a look at  the big picture & I realized Matt and Brad are from 2 different walks alive. Matt was a big time. I'm proud to be a marine guy. Brad was a white guy, I guess you would say he was really into black culture. He had a old school car with big  shiny rims on it. If you could look up a picture of the rapper Paul Wall  That would be pretty close to a picture of bread . As I looked at how different they were, it would make sense that Matt didn't like bread. It kind of sucked because I liked the hell out of both of them. 

          The promotion

People would see Matt and Mike walking off somewhere talking, and we just didn't think anything of it. What was really going on was Matt was pushing for a manager's position behind everybody's back.

one random day, Mike had a meeting, and he announced that he was giving Matt a promotion to the assistant manager. We were all kind of happy for Matt, but it was still out of left field, so it was kind of a red flag. But we just didn't think anything of it .   Everybody's attitude about it  was like OK, well, let's see how this is gonna work out. When we walked out the door from that meeting. We haven't even got to our work areas yet. We saw Matt go say something to Mike. Then Mike went over to Brad and said something to him. Just from the body language, we all knew Mike was getting on to brad.

  

   As time went on. The work atmosphere used to be like the boy's club. We used to have a good time. After Matt got his promotion, it seemed like coming to work was like walking on pens and needles.

 People were saying that Matt was making up stuff on the spot and then jumping on them for it.  Matt came from being one of the guys to a straight-up drill sergeant. he was always looking to yell at somebody.

  

 Matt started watching people coming in from their breaks. The breaks became an issue with Matt. I'll try to put this in a nutshell. With mike You got a 10 minute break and 5 minutes to get back to your work area That'll be about 15 minutes over all, But Mike didn't care if you took a 20 minute break as long as you wasn't taking advantage of him, he didn't give a damn. Matt On the other hand felt like if break was at 10 o'clock You need to be back in your area at 10:10. Which would leave you like a 7 and a 1/2 minute break.  One more quick side note Matt also felt like None of us should be talking to Mike, If we needed something from Mike we were supposed to let him know 1st and he'll let Mike know what we needed. I guess that was just a marine thing he didn't want to let go; But Mike used to Work with us on the floor& laugh and cut up with the Rest of us he used to tell all kinds of jokes and wild stories. Matt was also jumping on to people about safety glasses. When Mike was running everything by himself We never heard anything about Warnings or Write up's ,or final dismissal, when Matt got to be the assistant manager, It felt like we heard something about that every day. I digress

  Guy's noticed Mike was getting on to brad more often. We all knew That was just Matt and Mike's ear telling him to go say something to Brad, Because we all knew how Mike ran a shift Mike didn't care what brad did or any of us did as long as we were working. We could have brought our dogs to work he wouldn't have cared

 One Friday afternoon, we all came into work. It was about an hour into the shift. I noticed a few people talking amongst themselves, gossiping (if you will). Seem like people were whispering to each other.  Eventually, one of the guys came over and told me. "Mike and Matt got Brad in the office,  They're in there firing him."  I looked into the office (The office had big windows everybody could see in there) and sure Enough All 3 of them was in there , and their body language Did not look good ,it look like they were having a hard talk.

  If I could explain how it felt to watch this go on. It felt like I had lost a bet, and I was watching someone walk off with my money, and I couldn't do anything about it(S.M.H).  A few of the other guys felt the same way I did. Because they were also friends with Brad As well. Supposedly, some of those guys work with brad at other jobs. There was one guy(ben) his family knew Brad's family. I think maybe they had known each other since they were kids.

     The private meetings

  Mike called me into the office right after they fired brad. I guess he was just trying to check my temperature and see how I was feeling about Him firing brad. Mike was explaining to me why he had to fire him. Mike was telling me about how brad couldn't do this job or how he couldn't do that job. There was a job that they gave brad and the job was breaking out his skin on his hands, Mike was even holding that against him as a reason why he needed to be fired. In all the reasons that Mike was giving me seemed vanilla. I mean, I've seen other people do a lot more and keep their job. I truly felt like all the stuff that Mike was saying. He would've never had a problem with it had Matt not been promoted. In my mind, I felt like he didn't owe me an explanation. What I told Mike was You did what you had to do. There wasn't anything I could say or do to change it. I didn't feel it would do me any service to be a rational, which I think that's what they were looking for. I really just felt bad for brad because I felt like he had been bullied out of his job. I left that meeting Mike and I were on good terms.

  They walked Brad out of the building. About 20 minutes later.

  Matt walked up to me and asked if he could speak with me in the office. When we 1st got in the office before we even sat down. He said, "You know I just gave Brad the boot." I remember kind of rolling my eyes to that comment.  In my mind, I was thinking you're just an assistant manager. You don't have the authority to fire anybody. You may have gotten Brad fired, but you didn't fire him yourself. But I told him yeah I just talked to Mike about it.""" As we're were having a conversation. It was more just him trying to explain his frustration's with me . What stuck out to me was when he said, " It pisse's me off when you blow me off, and go and hang out with guys like that"( speaking of Brad). He was also saying that he wanted things to be the way that they used to be between me and him, where we're laughing and having fun and getting work done. He was saying that he felt that things were different between me and him because of his promotion. I was trying to explain to him in the words that I had at the time that things are different between me and him because he is the manager and we could still crack jokes like we used to but it's just not gonna be the same. I also felt like things are changing between me and him because I thought that he was too hard on the other guys, and I think he just went a little too far with getting Brad fired. Like I told Mike, there wasn't anything I could do or say to get Brad his job back; So I left that meeting thinking I guess we'll just try to get past it.

 

 It seemed like it benefited Matt a whole lot more than it benefited Mike that Brad was gone. With Mike, he seemed like well we'll just hire somebody else. He was just real nonchalant about it. With Matt, it seemed like it was more of a breath of fresh air for him. It was a lot more personal to Matt that Brad was gone.

   Later on that night. Mike called the meeting. In this meeting He announced that he was gonna be taking the next week off for vacation  and that Matt was gonna be in charge & If anybody needed anything to go see Matt . 

  When I heard that. My gut told me you should take the week off with him. I should have trusted my gut.

--

pt2

That next week

 Matt would make up rules off the top of his head just to get me to come sit beside him, Pretty much forcing me to come work beside him. He would say things like move your stuff down here. We all gotta sit together. And he wasn't asking.

 Mike was on vacation this week, & This is the 1st week without brad. It just bothered me

That somebody got fired because of me. I just felt like Brad had a family he had a wife and a kid to provide for, and it just ate me up that he would still have a job if I wasn't in the picture. Then I look up at Matt & see the person who pulled the trigger on it all. Then I would snap back into reality & Matt is right beside me trying to tell me a joke or he's wanting to cut up with me like we used to, but I just didn't have that same Bro energy for him, and I did laugh with him and cracked jokes with him but it just wasn't the same just something was clearly bothering me and, he had a lot to do with it, and I think he could feel that. 

  I'd be sitting by myself. Some of the guys would sneak over and just teas me and clearly make fun of Matt,  saying stuff like. Matt better not catch anybody talking to Darrell, or he will fire them. that's Matt's friend & he's not willing to share. Another guy walked up to me and said ."Hey, Darrell. It's OK. I talked to Matt, and I asked him if I could come say Hi, He said yes, but he said just say Hi and keep it moving." " " I'm sorry, Darrell, I don't want to get caught talking to you for too long. If Matt sees me, then he might think we're friends, and then I'm a goner ".  I knew they were just playing with me, but my attitude was, "Getet out of here, man, leave me alone."

 I felt it when Matt gave up on trying to be friends with me.  I was good with that. The way I felt when he took the manager's position, He drew A-line between Him and the other guys, and that includes me. That's just something he didn't understand. You don't get to be the manager and then keep your friends. That's not how that works.

The disagreement.

 This is the part that I got fired over. 

 Thursday night

 We got off work at 12:30 a.m .  It was kind of like a rule of thumb. Everybody used to stop Working at 12 o'clock and clean up their area, give or take. It wasn't like it was ever a rule written in stone. As a matter of fact, it had never even been brought up.  At 11:30 I just finished my work order. I needed to file that work in the cage.(The cage is where you go get your work from & when you're done with your work, you  have to log it back into the cage). I would have started another workorder, but the time I would have gotten started, It would have been time to put it back up.  I also had 2 work areas that needed to be cleaned on different sides of the building, and I had an electric tool that needed to be fixed. I had enough work to keep me busy for the hour. I needed to find Matt in order to get into the cage because only the manager's head keys to the cage.

 I looked for Matt a little bit, and I just didn't see him anywhere

So if I couldn't find Matt I couldn't get in the cage, and if I couldn't get in the cage, there was nothing that I could do but  start cleaning up my 1st work area . Then, out of Nowhere , Matt pops up behind me ,and he starts jumping on to me. And he was saying, "You don't need to be cleaning up a hour before it's time to go," and he kept saying we don't start cleaning up until 12:15. Now what he did was he just made up a rule right off the top of his head in front of me & he was just jumping on me because I was breaking that made-up rule. I kept trying to explain to him I needed to get in the cage and I have a lot to do. But he just kept saying I don't care. You need to get back to making production."

 After he was done with his power trip. I finally got to tell him, "I've been looking for you because I need to get in the cage.  I can't do anything until I get in the cage. " So with an attitude, he went & opened up the cage for me. 

Well, I pulled out a new workorder, and I didn't even get to open the box  before Matt calls a meeting in the break room at 12 o'clock (which was like 5 minutes till). in the meeting, the drill sergeant makes the announcement that we don't start cleaning up till 12:15

 And he doesn't want to catch anybody cleaning up a hour before it's time to go!( I remember thinking CATCH ME!! CLEANING UP!! He was trying to make it sound like I was sneaking and cleaning up. MAN!! S.M.H!! ) . He was trying to make it seem like I started cleaning up at 11 o'clock. So I could be done by 12 o'clock  in chill for the last 30 minutes, but that was not the case at all . And then, of course, He threatened us. "If I must remind you all, there's a verbal warning and then a written warning, and then there's final dismissal," and that was his 5 minute meeting. He obviously just had that meeting because he knew he just made something up and he was just trying to cover his ass. If that had been a rule, he wouldn't have had a meeting to tell everybody.

Now, when we left the meeting, I walked by Jerry's area.( Jerry's just another employee that worked there, an older gentleman.) Jerry was sitting there in a clean area with his feet kicked up on his desk at 12 o'clock. I just remember seeing that and just thinking I didn't have enough time to complain because I had so much to clean up before I left.

Now, some of the other guys saw what was going on and saw that Matt was just giving me a hard time, and they started helping me clean up my work areas

 Another one of my buddies came & helped me fix my electric tool.

 That's another thing i don't think Matt appreciated  Was how well liked I was by everybody , that these guys were willing to help me out when they could see that Matt was working against me.

___

The next day, I came into work Friday afternoon

 Every day at the beginning of 2nd shift, all the supervisors from 1st and 2nd shift have a meeting in the office with the owner, and his name is Thanos . I never met Thanos, and I never made eye contact with the man. Through the supervisors, I heard a lot about him. I heard that he ruled with an iron fist . The word was that he would fire anybody for any reason. If he heard anything bad about anybody, he would just say FIRE  THEM!!!  If he didn't like the look of somebody "FIRE them" or GET  RID OF THEM!!!  I've actually seen a few people get fired there because Thanos didn't like them talking while they worked. 

  After their supervisor meeting, I got called into  the office for a meeting with Matt and Neil 

 

 Neil was the plant manager. He was over Mike & Matt.  The only person who was over him was the owner. I don't know what Neil and Matt's relationship was, but I think it was strictly a work relationship. Neil was kinda like a Uncle-figure to me. we actually hung out outside of work. Neil and I used to go to the movies together. (Let me say this real quick) My uncle got killed in 2009. Neil let me off work to go and be with my family back in Chattanooga. He paid me a couple of days of Bereavement pay (at that time at that company that was hard to come by), and Neil just didn't give me a hard time with it. I could tell he truly felt sorry for me. When I had business to take care of around the city of Charlotte, Neal used to let me run around the city and take care of that business while being on the clock. Here's the thing I don't think Neil trusted a lot of people the way that he trusted me to let me do that. like I was saying, we were friends outside of work

 Back to the meeting, Neil  asked me to have a seat .  He looked at me, and he took a deep breath, and he said "Darrell we're gonna have to terminate your services today." I asked Neil What is this over Did I do something wrong, Neil just said" fuck I don't know. Neil looked over at Matt and asked him, "What's it over?"

Then he let Matt talk. Matt just looked like a complete drill sergeant he didn't look anything like the guy I used to hang out with & laugh & have fun with.  Matt was saying that I disrespected him by saying whatever.  Now I don't remember saying whatever to him. I could only imagine. He sang that I said whatever to him after he got on to me that last night. It makes sense to me that a person would say whatever after a person talks to another person the way he talked to me, but it's neither here nor there. Because in the end I won all my money and the unemployment. I'll say I said it. It wasn't like I raised my voice at the guy. It wasn't like we had a back-and-forth fussing match.  In all honesty, I just don't recall saying that.

I was trying to explain myself to Neil, but just the look on neil's face. It was just already a Done deal.

Neil walked me out of the building.

  When we got to the door, we stood face to face. Both of us with heavy hearts, Neil told me. "You're a good worker Darrell.  You're a young man & You've got a bright future ahead of you. Don't worry about this job, your way bigger than this job". He said whatever happened between you and Matt. Don't worry about it You're a better man than he is, and he's just a powerhouse." If there's anything I could have done to keep you, I would have done it, and right there, I understood he's just in the situation where he had to side with Matt. I remember just shaking his hand. And telling him I appreciate everything he did for me. 

  He told me to make sure I go in file for unemployment and that he would make sure that the company wouldn't fight me on anything. In the end,  unemployment took a few months, but everything would smooth. With the unemployment, there was like a court case over the phone. The company didn't even show up they plead no contest.  I  was awarded a lot of money & I lived off that money for about a year and a half.

--pt3

Side notes/ comments/ irrelevant parts of the story

After Neil walked me out . When I got back to my apartment.  I wound up calling Brad to let him know that he wasn't the only person at that guy who got fired . Well Brad invited me over to His house So I figured what the fuck I didn't have anything else to do it wasn't like I had to go to work, so I went over to his house. I met his wife Dana and his brother. All 4 of us stayed up most of the night, just shooting the shit, laughing, and cutting up. I told Dana what Matt had said about It pissing him off that I was hanging out with brad. I remember Dana's facial expression It was like what the fuck, and she said, "It sounds like somebody needs to leave their emotions at home."

  She was telling me that she hated to see him go through such a hard time with Matt and Mike. She was also telling me that Brad was having a hard time sleeping because of his skin breaking out because of one of the jobs they had him doing. When she told me that, I thought  When I heard about that at work, I thought that sucked for brad but I never thought about how that problem followed him home and affected Life at home for him, and how  It affected his spouse. That just made me think even less of Matt in spite of what I already thought about him at that point.

 Me and Brad were also having the conversation that night. About when Matt was jumping on to me. And I was  saying that while Matt  was jumping on to me, he was the one really wasting more company time than I was. I'm a grown man, and I know what my responsibilities are. Not only are you not doing any work, but you're stopping me from doing my work. Brad understood me and locked step. Brad was agreeing with me and saying, "Yeah man, go find some work speaking of Matt and Mike to do . Go find some work to do. I understand if you don't want to work You can go hide somewhere or at least look busy, but  just leave me alone I've got stuff to do,  I guess I just felt like nobody in the world was ever gonna understand me, but at that moment it just felt good because I knew one person on this Earth did Understand me.

  That was the last time I saw brad. I talk to him every so often. He told me he got rid of his old school car with the big shiny rims. I was saying back then he looked like Paul Wall. from the pictures that he posted on Facebook today, he looks more like George Clooney or a younger version of Pierce Brosnan. He looks like he's a higher end cleaner cut man than he did back in the day. It's funny to me how time will change a person. Back then, we were in our early twenties; now we're in our mid thirties, and him and Dana are still together, and they have a picture-perfect family. It looks like he recovered well, and I just think to myself. At least I didn't destroy his life completely.

---

That Monday after I was terminated, I went back to my college to see Wayne. Wayne is my gunsmithing teacher, and he's the one who got me the job. I told him what happened, and one of the other students was eavesdropping, I didn't mind.  When I was done, he rudely commented, "Aww! that guy (Matt) had a crush on you. " That guy's words stayed with me for a long time. being  in my early 20s. I would never accept the logic that another man had a crush on me.  Now that I'm in my Mid 30's. I can see things a lot clearer now, and I understand that the shame is not for me to have. It's not like I'm the one that had the crush. If that guy had a crush on me, that's his problem, not mine.

----

 I told another guy this story. And he told me. "Dee, right there in the meeting that you had with Matt. When he told you he didn't like you hanging out with Brad. I would have told Matt. "I'm not fucking him if that's what your asking."

---

 I talked to Neil twice after I left that job. Neil got fired about 6 months to a year after I left. I don't know what it was over. This is gonna sound weird. Like I said, Matt didn't have the authority to fire anybody. I just rather it had been Neal Be the one to terminate me.

--

I have a letter of dismissal from the job that says that I was terminated because of "Attitude towards a supervisor." Because I said whatever.

 If you ask me, I got fired because. My manager didn't appreciate me hanging out with somebody else.  And I just don't want to call Matt gay. But I don't know what you would you call him????

 When a person kills their spouse because they don't want to be with them and they can't stand to see them with someone else.

 1. that's called insecure. 

 2. That's called a crime of passion.

 Once again, that's where the question rises. It blows my mind to think that a straight man would do this to another man. And me of all people you gotta understand, I just don't think I'm that attractive in any shape former fashion. Ask my wife in my mama, I ain't shit.

I understand it may not be a sexual thing, but Matt was emotionally invested in me, and he acted on those emotions. And that's when he crossed the line. And that's where I raised the question: to you, is this guy gay??

Why I Married A White Woman part 2

As time went on I always kept black women in my options. Now I could always go to the club and talk to a black woman or get a dancer too. I would never try to have a relationship with a woman that I met at the club maybe that's why I could get them so easy at the club because I didn't care about any them. Always felt like if I dated a woman that I met at the club by the end of the relationship I would be paying child support selling crack in riding in a hoopty.

 Now for example the type of black woman that I would have been into( you know when you go to the bank and you ask to speak to someone and the woman behind the desk is a black woman ) that was the kind of black women I was interested in. she's well spoken, classy and sweet like candy as a matter of fact that's what kind of women I was interested in anyway Black or white .

I never was interested in white women that tried to be from the hood or tried to act ghetto ,or tried to live their lives in the shadow of a hood rat . It's funny you can tell by the looks of some white women if they date black men are not those were not my kind of women. I needed a woman that was presentable that was well spoken. Real talk nobody really wants to bring home a stripper to meet their mom

Another one of my standard my woman had to bring home the bacon yes she had to work I could not put up with the woman that had no income but her government check & child support. just sitting at home all day, talking about where you been & who you done been with . For example say for instance if we had kids or something what if I died or got life in jail. I don't know. I wanted my wife to be able to carry the household .I wanted a woman that wanted a man, & not depended on a man . I guess you call that independent yes .I needed a independent woman

I always thought I would be single forever Living a bachelor's lifestyle. sleeping around and partying all weekend . Then out of nowhere a romantic night lasted a year and a half & left me with a serious decision to make. Am I going to keep this lifestyle of half ass relationships and not settling down until a black woman would come to her senses and see me for the nice kind hearted guy that I am. On the other hand I said to myself ,Dee you have a beautiful young woman in front of you and she loved you for better or for worse the first night we met . She fit's all your standards she doesn't have any kids not that that would have been a problem. She wants things out of life just like you do and she's going places just like you said you were too . Somewhere in the Bible it says don't get married unless you have to I well I felt like this was a situation where I did not have much of a choice . and that's why I married a white woman. 

Why I Married A White Woman part 1

Throughout my life growing up as a kid of course the black girls always had an attitude with me. I was always too fat, too stinky, too black or just to dame ugly are too something . I had given up on even wanting a girlfriend and I just accepted that I was going to be single for the rest of my life( lol it's funny the way you think when you were a kid).

When I entered into the 9th grade my mother sent me to a private school . I ask this white girl a question and she made eye contact with me and just spoke to me as if I was a human being . My mouth dropped from being in shock because I could not believe that there was a girl speaking to me. all of the white girls were like that it was amusing to me. I could laugh, joke and play around with the white girls it wasn't that big of a deal they loved me . So if you could imagine I felt betrayed and shoo'd away from my own race of girls and I was accepted by white girls. I stop giving a shit about what black girls thought about me. When ever I was around black girls I walked around them like I was 30 feet tall and I didn't give a shit what they said or thought if it was about me or not good or bad.

Now after college I open my horizons back up to all girls giving black girls Anonther shot because I knew it would make my family happy to see me with a black girl , But now I was dealing with black women. you would think ther would be a big difference between black girls in black women . When I tell you that black women are much more vicious than black girls. 

I was at the club one night I went to approach this black woman for a dance . When I got within 6 feet of her she noticed me walking her directions and she ran top speed across the dance floor in high heels and everything like I was Freddy Krueger or some shit . Well ok that was one black woman . Another night I saw a black woman walking down the steps and she looked like she was having some trouble, so I put my hand out for her to help her to keep her from falling and she took one look at me and push my hand out the way and blew me off. I didn't even think she was that cute I was just trying to help her out.

 Now I can just keep quacking all day about my bad experiences with black women . Yes sure I'v been turned down by several white women, but it's like when it came to a black woman I just said hello and then they would just blow me off & act like I asked them to fuck right here in front of everybody. I just said hello I didn't mean to offend any of them. now a white woman I can just say hello and we can just have a casual conversation no big deal. 

  Part 2 coming soon